Geckos, Chimps and Drag Queens
by PsiGen
Summary: Where Adam is a Gecko, the guys are Chimps and Shalimar has a brain - things couldn't get worse.. could they?
1. Default Chapter

Gecko's, Chimps and Drag Queens  
  
The One Where Adam Gets Turned Into A Gecko  
  
Sanctuary was quiet today. Jesse was downloading/buying porn off Brennan's website (although he didn't know it at the time), Brennan was outwardly reading Keat's poetry, but in actual fact reading a 'Nude Babes in Bustiers' magazine and wondering what Shalimar was doing in it and Shalimar was chasing pigeons and squirrels in the back garden. Lexa was just hanging around, disappearing and reappearing and acting all mysterious about it, while secretly playing PacMan on her handheld. Adam was being boring and pretending to work on a cure in the lab.. secretly getting totally pissed in the process. Apparently science was more fun when he got that way.  
  
Pretty much a standard day in Sanctuary really.  
  
"OH SHIT!" Adam's voice howled over the comlink, followed by shattering noises and more intense and very graphic swearing. For an educated man, Adam seemed to know all the gutter language there was in various different languages.  
  
Instantly the others raced into his lab to see the latest disaster that was Adam's supposed experiments. What they found was a mess indeed.. glass, metal and scotch were everywhere on the floor, amidst various underwear, plates with what used to be food on them and glasses with what could have been coffee but now resembled living organisms. Adam himself was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Hey Adam.. you in here?" Called Brennan. Jesse was picking up the underwear in total disgust. "What on earth..." He said, distastefully, holding the offending garment at arms length. Lexa leaned over, and then grabbed said underwear quickly, hiding it and going red with embarrassment. "A whim.. just a whim!" She said in response to the raised eyebrows. **I wondered where I left that!"***  
  
"Guys! How'd you get so damn big!" Adam's voice could clearly be heard in the lab.. but the scientist was nowhere in sight. "Adam are you playing hide and seek again? Because if you are.." Started Jesse. "No I'm right here!" Adam sounded closer and they automatically looked closer. And began to laugh. "What!" Demanded Adam, peevishly. "Well... we haven't gotten bigger Adam.. you've gotten smaller!" Brennan said, wiping his eyes and trying to smother more laughter. "What do you mean, Brennan! Be more specific.. you never make any sense... always talking in riddles or that stupid 'street talk'..." Adam was really getting annoyed now, and everybody sobered up. "Well it's like this Adam... ahh... Lexa you tell him." Said Brennan, taking the cowards way out. Adam turned to Lexa, questioningly. "Well you're not so much smaller as ... well.. I think it looks very becoming... Shal. Tell him." Lexa too backed out, passing the buck to the feral. "Adam... you're a gecko." "WHAT!" 


	2. A Bad Day Gets Worse

A Bad Day Gets Even Worse  
  
The story so far…  
  
Lexa likes Pacman, Shalimar features in porn magazines, and Brennan has a porn website.  
  
Oh… and Adam is a gecko. Go Figure.  
  
Adam was still a gecko, but he was trying to fix it. Really. But being a Gecko meant a reduced brain pan size and as time passed he was turning into a Gecko mentally too. There was no way in hell he was going to be able to fix it in time, so he needed someone to continue his work. So he had to turn to his team.  
  
He surveyed them all in turn… thinking furiously.  
  
Lexa….no she's too much of a backstabber.. god knows what she'd turn me into.  
  
Jesse… no he's too much of a follow the leader type… he'd never come up with something on his own.  
  
Brennan…street wise.. relatively loyal… probably the best candidate.  
  
Shalimar… nope she's blonde.   
  
His rational and well informed decision made, Adam ate a fly and then called Brennan in and told him the good news.  
  
"You want me to what? How the hell am I supposed to do that!" Exploded Brennan.  
  
"Well I'm going to enlarge your brain temporarily and download the entire science encyclopedia." Explained Adam, and ate another fly.  
  
"Stop doing that! You're worse than Shalimar!" Said Brennan.  
  
"Come on Brennan. You'll be smarter than Jesse!" Cajoled Adam. Brennan didn't look convinced.  
  
"How much smarter?" He said eventually, arms folded across his chest.  
  
"Way smarter. Smart enough to decrypt his encrypt on his firewalls of his VLAN which houses the wallpapers he made of Mutant X in the buff. And Shalimar's baby pictures."   
  
That cinched it.  
  
"Okay what do I do."  
  
"Just sit down here… don't press anything though. Okay?" Brennan nodded, and sat down as indicated while Adam went to get Lexa to get him some dried flies for dinner.  
  
Brennan sat and waited… and then got bored. Adam had been gone for so long… at least 20 seconds. His hand was itching… it wanted to press the button on the side. Brennan loved pressing buttons, even when it got him into trouble. It was great seeing the flashing lights.. and the explosions.. even the color of Adam's face which went through a variety of shades of red, purple and blue.  
  
Another 20 seconds passed and Adam still hadn't come back. So Brennan sighed, and idly stretched out a hand and looking really innocent, pressed the button on the side.  
  
"WHOOOOOOPP! BAZZA! ZING! POP! DING! RAZZA! TADDDDDDAAAA!" Brennan fizzled, fried, jumped, peed his pants and then rather unexpectedly turned into a chimpanzee.   
  
"What the hell – Brennan is that you? Are you okay? Talk to me buddy." Jesse lifted Brennan the chimp out of the chair, sat down in it himself and sat the chimp on his lap.   
  
"What have you done now… You are sooo gonna get it when Adam finds out!" Crowed Jesse, seeing that Brennan was okay.. sort of. It wasn't life threatening anyway.  
  
Brennan in retaliation pressed the button for a second time and reduced Jesse to a chimpanzee too.  
  
So now Mutant X consisted of one Feral, one Know It All, two chimpanzees and a gecko.  
  
Things just couldn't get any worse could it. Actually yes… but that's another chapter. 


End file.
